5 Corporate Life Hacks – Impending Departures

Get these tips as a free eBook by joining the newsletter here.

Tip #91: “Two Weeks’ Notice Can Get You Fired”

Once you resign, employers sometimes fire you immediately instead of letting you complete the two weeks’ notice you gave. This is more likely if there is tension at your job and your manager genuinely dislikes you. And if the joy of sticking it to you outweighs getting a smooth hand over of your work from you to someone else. If your project is dead and you are costing the company money instead of earning it for them, this can contribute to the decision. Why should they lose money over the next two weeks when they can make you be the one to take the loss?

Tip #92: “Ask the New Employer If You Can Start Early”

Due to the previous tip, you should always tell a new company if you need to give two weeks’ notice. Then casually ask if you can start earlier on the off chance that your employer lets you go immediately when you give notice. The answer is typically yes. HR understands that this does indeed happen. Always ask as if you are certain it won’t happen (implying everything is fine at your current job), not like it’s expected (because things are not fine and maybe you are trouble that they should rethink about hiring).

Tip #93: “Two Weeks’ Notice is Voluntary”

While it is good practice, no one can make you give two weeks’ notice. Many U.S. states are “at will” employment, which means either party can terminate without warning. If your job is hostile, you likely don’t want to go back, nor would they want you back, and they may show you the door the moment you give notice, when you are expecting two more weeks of work and pay. It can therefore be advantageous to give little notice. It will burn bridges, but they may already be burned. Use wisely, rarely, and cautiously.

Tip #94: “Give Notice at COB”

Always give notice after 3pm, or when less than an hour of your workday (or that of your boss) remains. It can cause anxiety to wait for a response all day if you gave notice via email. A reply will likely be there in the morning when you arrive, but at least you were gone and living your life, with this off your mind (mostly). Another option: giving notice is often better done in person (it is smoother and there’s no waiting for a reaction), then followed up in writing for the record.

Tip #95: “Put a Good Spin on Being Fired”

If it happens, you need to make being fired sound as good as possible. You can admit to a mistake if you explain it well and seem like you learned something (and that it was innocent), but sometimes the firing is bullshit and you need more creativity. Companies will ask if they can contact former employers and you can decline in this case without even needing to explain that they’re unlikely to say anything helpful because that’s kind of obvious. This means a creative answer can pass the smell test if done well, precisely because no sniffing around is happening.